Why Walk When You Can Fly?
by Rebecca Wolfe
Summary: Logan is depressed about his legs and their lack of motion. That basically sums it up, and the fact that he's thinking suicidal tendencies.


Why Walk When You Can Fly

Why Walk When You Can Fly?

Logan looked out over the beautiful, raging ocean. The wind was tossing the waves, their foam dancing among the greens and blues of the waters. It seemed to go forever, an infinite source of beauty that faded into sky at the horizon. He could smell the sea on the air, taste its salt. The wind raced over his face, his body, sending slight shivers through him yet making him feel alive with its cold.

He looked straight down at the rocky shore, a few hundred feet below him. In the back of his mind he knew he was afraid of heights, but that fear seemed useless now. As useless as the legs that remained attached to his body yet accomplished nothing by being there. Far to his right, where the beach smoothed out into flawless golden sand, he could make out people running, playing volley ball, relaxing with a book. It was too cold for tanning, though a few stubborn people were surfing. 

Logan smiled down at them. He could still remember the hate, the anger, he had felt for them back when their every stride seemed to mock his pain. Now he felt nothing but peace, staring out over everything, as if he was above it all; above the pain and anger and fear and hate that had plagued him before. 

One thought, one word echoing in his head, and that pain seemed to pound on the barriers of his mind. _Max_. Thinking of her filled him with sadness and loneliness and regret. "That doesn't matter." He told himself, pushing her from his mind. "She can't love you. She shouldn't love you. You may be above the world right now Logan, but you can never be above her. You can never be next to her. You can never be with her." He sighed, but a smile still made its way to his lips. 

He inched his wheel chair forward, on the edge of the cliff. "I may not be able to walk. But I will still fly before my death." He closed his eyes and breathed deeply of the surrounding beauty.

"Logan!" 

Logan's eyes snapped open and he turned his head, pain searing through his heart. "Max." He whispered to himself, before calling out to her, "How did you find me?"

She walked towards him warily, both anger and sadness showing in her eyes. She kept her voice conversational, but the strain on keeping too much emotion from it was obvious. "Oh, you know. Just worried 'bout my boss, what with all his wandering's around lately. Never know who's gonna recognize you and decide to kidnap you. So a while ago I slipped a GPS locator on the back of your chair. Just in case, you know. No big dealio. You seemed a little strange this morning, so I just came to check up on you. Thought you might be lonely or something. Hey, I thought you were afraid of heights."

Logan looked at her sadly. She knew what he'd come here to do, he was sure of it. Her out of character long speech gave it away, and the look in her eyes. 

"Right now I'm not afraid of anything." Except being stopped by you, being seen by you. He thought sadly. Dammit Max, why did you have to be here?

"Yeah, well I'm afraid of you being so close to the edge. Those are wheels you know, if they decided to roll forward where would that leave you?"

"Right where I want to be." He told her quietly.

Her eyes widened, and then the anger in them dominated. "Dammit Logan, you wheel your pale ass over here right this second! I'm taking you home, we're gonna have some hot cocoa, and sign you up for a few sessions with a physiatrist. You're stronger than this, dammit, but if I'm going to have to bitch-slap you for you to see sense than I'm willing to do it. Come on, let's go!"

Logan smiled at her sadly. "I don't think so Max. I'm seeing sense even more than usual. And I see that this is no way to live. I will never walk again. And eventually I'm going to forget what it was like, what I've lost, and I'll long for it even more. This way is better. If I can never walk again, I can at least fly."

"You wanna fly? Fine, we'll get you some skydiving tickets. I'll even pay for them. You don't need legs to pull a cord. Dang, Logan, you don't need legs for a lot of things! You don't need legs to be my boss, to be my friend. You don't need legs to change the world. " Max paused, and some of the anger faded from her voice. "You don't need legs to get a chica to fall in love with you."

Logan looked up in surprise. Surely that was impossible. He had been readying his reply; how many things that he _did_ need his legs for. Until she'd told him the last . . . that she loved him. It had to be a mistake. "Max I love you." His voice seemed to be carried by the wind, and she almost smiled as it reached her. "But I can't . . I have to . . ." He wasn't sure what he had to do anymore.

Max walked even closer to him. Her voice was softer now, gentle and sad and convincing. "Logan, you may or may not be able to walk in the future. And it's horrible and unfair and all that other shit. But you have so much left to do in your life. So what if your world isn't a perfect place? You've been making other people's world's perfect for so long, but you're not done yet. You _are_ changing the world Logan. You've certainly changed me. Because now I'm going to help you change the world. Screw Zach, screw the Mandacore bullshit and all that other stuff. I'm through with protecting myself just to protect myself. From now on, we're in the world-saving business together." She took yet another step closer. "Together, neither of us to be alone ever again."

Then she took a step to the side, dropping the solemn voice and regaining her conversational tone. "But of course, not if someone wants to die. I mean, dang, I'm not really into hacking too much, and you're little body guard doesn't seem to good at it either. So I guess my little future I've dreamed up is screwed, huh?"

Logan looked out over the ocean again. "I don't want to die." He said softly. "Not anymore." He looked down sickly, his voice back to normal. "Max, I've just regained my fear of heights. Get me the hell outta here." Max was at his side in a second. 

"Damn straight I'm getting you outta here." She started wheeling him away. "And just so you know, I was ready to hookshot you're crazy ass up off that cliff if you weren't gonna do it yourself. So remember that in the future; escape is futile. You're stuck here."

He smiled. "Good. The wind's bad anways. A bad day for flying."

Max smiled. "We'll see about that. You know what I said about sky diving? Just so happens I know a little place that'll take us up for real cheapness." He frowned.

"Hey, you deserve a spanking for that little stunt back there. Be happy you're getting off with being pushed out of a plane."

Logan felt relief swell up in him. She loved him, and she would never act strangely about how close he'd come to suicide. He was even relieved she was joking about it. "Only if you'll hold my hand, mommy." He told her in a little boy voice.

She laughed. "Okay. But you have to drink all you're milk on the way there." They had reached the car, and she tossed him a carton of milk from a bag of food. "You're going to build up them bones. And we're going to heal them, might I add."

"Oh really? How is that?"

She shrugged, starting the van up. "Haven't worked out the details just yet. But I gave myself that mission. And I don't fail missions. It's not in the programming."

Logan smiled at her. Maybe she would succeed. Maybe he would walk. But she was right. He wasn't done trying to save the world. And with her, he was more sure than ever that he would succeed. Most importantly was that, with her, he was more sure than ever that he wanted to live. 

A/N: And then Max forgot that the van was in reverse, and they drove off the cliff and died. J/K Sandrine! (hehehe) They ride off and save the world and live happily ever after. Anyhoo, there ya be, my first Dark Angel fic. Thanks to Sandrine, who wasn't quite the inspiration, but hey, she was present when I was inspired to write it. Ciao.


End file.
